I just had a spat with my best friend. Something about triple booking this evening between a band trip meeting, a women’s bible study, and another opportunity I was looking forward to. I didn’t do a great job alleviating the tension, she jumped to some conclusions, but we texted our way into the clearing, and resolved it without too much damage.
I’ll be at the band meeting. She’s leading the Bible study and other things will work out.
And I was thinking . . . If I’m going to fight with someone I want it to be Linda. She has been on my team for over 20 years. She knows me and deeply has proven her trust in me. I love her and although we know how to aggravate each other, I have never doubted her commitment to me. And I have worked hard to try to demonstrate to her that I am not going anywhere without her.
Up from the chaos of the diapers and coloring books of a few years ago, a full-fledged Filcek family emerged with a vigorous schedule and the routine of ministry, family, teens and a preteen all who have added things to our schedule. Each stage of life and marriage has brought with it new challenges and new rewards. Time seems to surge forward in fits and starts, rather than just maintaining a steady pace.
Words cannot convey how grateful I am to have the privilege of doing life with Linda. We just work well together. We get each other. But I fear that some married person out there could read this and wish they have what we have . . .
I started out this blog describing an argument that Linda and I had, because they happen often enough to be a feature of our relationship worthy of a chapter or two in our autobiographies. We have to work at unity. The flow of time will naturally separate. Relational entropy means that the natural flow of people is toward distrust. Just like natural entropy where cars rust, bones grow brittle, and my coffee is getting cold, relationships will go this way as well without adding more into the system. It is so easy to look at someone else and assume perfect relationships. ‘Oh, if we could only be like them . . . ‘.
But I am convinced that the ‘more’ for Linda and I, is a genuine trust that God caused this thing. We stood before him and made our vows. We take Don and Linda as a given until death do us part, because we take God’s role seriously in our marriage.
Life together is not always easy, but I always find it a joy and a challenge. I am grateful for the opportunity to love my wife and do life together with her. She is a precious gift. And I will take her above all others, arguments and all!
We will be attending a marriage retreat this weekend that our church is putting on for families. We need these regular and routine getaways. Investment in our marriage is one intentional way we can fight the entropy.